Frustrations

I kinda feel like I'm losing my mind.  And as soon as I acknowledge that, I immediately feel guilty for being frustrated.  My sweet husband is working SO damn hard to finish this house & I couldn't possibly ask for any more effort on his part.  That's not what this is about.  But we're at a point where we are So.  Damn.  Close.  to having our life back that I'm really losing my patience with it all.

 

Before I go off on a complete bitch-fest, let me at least start by showing you all of the things we *have* accomplished lately.

 

Smallest on the list: I've been painting the outside.  It's only on my days off of work when I have time, so it's going veeeerrryyyy slowly, but a little at a time it's making a big difference.  

Me on a ladder... not a good combination!

This was a little while ago, but it gives you an idea.  Black shutters will go back up around the windows.

 

Why are we spending our time on something so insignificant to making the house livable??  Well, two reasons.  #1: It's one of the only things I can actually do to help! lol  When the Chamber of Commerce came & got things started, it really lit a fire under me.  Seeing a little bit of the white trim, half a green wall... I could see it done & suddenly I *needed* to see it done.  It scares the living daylights out of me to be that high up on a ladder, but I feel better helping! :)  Reason #2 is a more practical one: Insurance.  Right now we have only a construction policy in place & it's up for renewal very soon.  It's very expensive & covers very little, so as soon as we can have a traditional home-owner's policy the better.  One thing they need checked off the list is having the house painted.  So that's what I'm doing!  Not impressive.  I know.  But that's okay.  I'm trying! :)  Now if it would just stop raining all the time...

 

Now on to the big things: plumbing & electricity.  All of the drain lines for the plumbing are DONE!!  (And in my head I'm saying that with the best sing-songy voice I can muster).  So excited about that I can't even tell you.  And the fact that Mathew did it all by himself is amazing to me.  

drain lines in the ceiling from the upstairs bathrooms

Ready for washer/dryer hookups

Our bathtub & shower.  Natalie can't resist a photo-op! ;)

 

All tested.  No leaks.  Yes!! :)  Bath tubs are all in, our shower floor is poured & we're all ready for faucets as soon as the time comes. 

 

Electricity, one of the things that was going to be a huge weight off of our shoulders has become a source of frustration.  The Academy had come out to start helping us put in the electricity at no cost for labor months ago (which I shared with you all here).  They came out one more time & started putting in the electrical boxes everywhere which would've been a good start, but even though Matt marked exactly where to put each box, they were a mess.  One wall had one box at 15inches, and another at 22inches???  Umm, no.  How dumb would that look.  Zig zagged outlets along each all with no rhyme or reason.  So most of the boxes had to be ripped out & re-done anyway.  And where we had time then to get the electricity started, we kept waiting for them to return & do it for us as promised.  We never got a clear answer from the professor.  Weeks passed; months.  Then the next thing you know the semester's over & they never came back.  As it turns out, they had another project that they were asked to work on actually at the Academy, so they spent the rest of the semester working on that & didn't have time to work on our house.  Totally fine.  Understandable.  But they approached *us* asking if they could do the job, then didn't follow through & we wasted time.  So I ended up frustrated... and again guilty for being frustrated!!  They offered to help us is all, but I had to go & count on it.  Ugh. 

But again, Mathew surprises me with what he can do.  All of the breaker boxes are IN and wire is beginning to be pulled.  (All of the holes for where the wires will go have been drilled, so that's a big part of it done).  

 

Getting the electricity TO the house he did months ago.  So, once everything's in place he plans to hire a licensed electrician to help him & make sure everything is wired up as it should be, then... Let there be light! :) 

 

Chimney: DONE!  

 

Isn't it pretty?  And ginormous! lol  Leave it to Mathew.  He doesn't do anything halfway.  8 friggin' feet tall on top of the roof! lol  It's obnoxious... but it's pretty! :) 

 

The porch: Done!  Kinda...  

 

Time & time again we've learned to not bother with letting others help us & just do things ourselves.  (Isn't that sad?!)  We've told you guys that we had a few guys help us out with some of the grunt work of the house.  People approach us daily asking us if they can do some work, offering it for cheap, & many times it truly is a help.  But a few times it has caused more work than it helped in the first place!  Exhibit A would be our front porch.  We had a guy frame it in for us.  (The previous one had been fallen in for at least as long as we had been looking at the house.  It had to be all re-done).  Well, the front part he built was way off square.  Matt's initial thought was to pull the line out instead of in so that the design on top would be a better fit.  So he did & he ended up with this:

 

See how the lip of the stone steps is so small at the top where it meets the porch?  The only thing we thought at the time was "oh well.  It's not perfect, but it still looks good.  It's just a small step."  Big mistake.  Matt finished the porch and gets excited. He has our mail forwarded since we got our pretty new mailbox up & everything.  We got mail one day, then nothing.  Hmm...  Finally we call the post office & find out that the postman refused to deliver our mail there because it was too dangerous to get back down, especially when there's snow & ice.  

Palm to forehead. 

But nooooo!!!!!  (Me, whining)  The front porch has nothing to do with living there!  And it'll take forever to take apart & start again!  And our mail has already been forwarded & the post office will only hold our mail for 30 days until we fix the problem!  GAH!!  Mini freak out.  So we came up with a temporary solution: 

 

Ugly cheap mailbox off the side porch.  Done.  Safe for the mailman for now, but we don't have to take time away from the house to fix the real problem for a little while.  (Though I know it's going to drive Matt insane, so I'm sure it'll be high on his priority list!)

 

Part Two: the Rest of Our Drama

Meanwhile, while we've been working hard at building our home (and watching our bank account quickly dwindle...), the threat of the Nationwide lawsuit has been looming.  On one hand I dreaded it.  Reliving all of that gives me a panic attack just thinking about it.  But on the other hand I welcomed it.  It meant it would finally be over & we could finally move on.  The trial date was set for August 12th.  It worked out perfectly because my planned vacation time from work was going to be that week already!  Perfect!  Then we can go to Kansas & back without missing any work & all will be well.  Or so we thought.  (C'mon guys.  You know how these stories go!)  Well it turns out that the attorney for Nationwide was on maternity leave & didn't have anyone picking up her slack while she was gone.  Three of the employees that we need to have deposed no longer live in the state: two of which are no longer even employed by the company!  So they have yet to even track these people down to get there depositions prior to a potential trial.  Trial date has again been extended indefinitely.  Damn it!!!!!!

 

I just want all of this shit to be over with!  Our life has been on hold for over THREE YEARS now!!  My daughter has no idea what "home" means.  Her life, for as long as she can remember, has been divided by addresses & people's houses.  (She seriously rarely says "home."  She says "when are we going to ____ Street" or "when we lived at _______'s house."  It's sad!)  I want my kids to have their rooms & their furniture & a place to truly call "theirs."  I want my beautiful dining room table back & all of our art & photographs & things that make our home "ours."  I want my damn mixer & all of our kitchen appliances that I've lived without for so damn long!    I want a real living room where we don't have to squeeze onto one of Matt's old office sofas that's frankly not even comfortable enough for one person much less for five of us to fight over.  And is my own bathroom sink too much to ask for?? ;)  I just want to live in this home that we've pictured in our heads for two years now & have yet to be able to enjoy.  And let's not forget: the house we're staying in is for sale.  I'm sick of going into freak-out panic clean mode to show someone else's house, when all that means for me & my family is that this person may like it & we'll be homeless AGAIN!  It's nerve-racking!!  

 

Sigh.  Thank you for indulging me in my tantrum.  I'm grateful for what we have now, I am.  And I couldn't ask for anything more from Mathew than what he's putting into all of this.  He's working as hard as he possibly can, I know.  I'm just worn out.  We're ready to live our lives again!